07.30.06
Posted in Today, Reflections, Random Thoughts, Writing at 23:21 pm by Josh
Long day. A very long day. A very long day in New York City which is now seeming more and more surreal as I wearily limp towards the end of it. I think I even got George to be a little frustrated with me. I was being something of an ass (those who heard Sam’s sermon this morning will find the unfortunate irony in this). However, in a feeble attempt to find comfort in simplicity, I want to paint a picture.
Interstate 95 is merely a compilation of Bridges and Broken Things. Lines are painted crooked, the pavement is full of patched holes (apparently all the $1.25 Eastbound toll can cover), and there’s one spot near Mamaroneck where the pavement is groved for a good couple of miles, making 75 mph more fun than it’s ever been. When you finally cut across three lanes of traffic, only to realize you could have survived by surpassing two if only the sign had been Pictorially Correct, you careen onto a different highway only you didn’t know it was different highway because apparently the “Welcome To The Bronx” sign was more of a priority for the NYDOT than a sign that said I-287 (or whatever Interstate it is). Finally you are warned of the impending toll for the Triborogh bridge and you again find yourself careening into the left lane only to pinch a 20 mph turn at, say, 55 by the time you’ve managed to hit your brakes, and then cut back the other way to nail the 20 mph turn in the other direction. Now, you’ve just about had it with NYC and you haven’t even hit the river yet, when you begin the ascent from the underpass and are hoisted to level ground with 1.5 miles of straightaway ahead of you. And that’s when you see it. The majesty of New York City. No matter how many times it stands before you, the Empire State Building will always seem proud, Trump Tower will always seem skinny, and the miles of tall buildings that span the horizon before you will always seem eerily surreal. The city set before you seems like a dream, a place you can only get to when you are as far away from reality as God lets us go. You feel excitement. You feel giddy. You feel like you’re about to enter a microcosm of reality.
You are looking at one of the most amazing places in the world.
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07.28.06
Posted in Music, Today, Announcements, Writing, Technology at 11:18 am by Josh
I finally got Audition to register my guitar input last night so we’re ready to rock n’ roll this weekend. Now all I need is to get someone to show me how to balance the recording and I’ll be all set. Oh yeah, I could use a mic, too…
I’ve decided to turn an old book I wrote into a script. This will be the first unofficial endeavor of my first unofficial entrepreneurship…that’s all I’m going to say about that for now. The rest is a secret. A big secret. And I love taunting you with it…anyway, I never really finished this book. That is, I wrote an ending, I just never managed to tie it to the 263rd page. That is largely because I envisioned some 137 more pages before the 2 pages of ending which were written long before the book ever got started…maybe I should take care of that first?
Nah.
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07.26.06
Posted in Today, Random Thoughts at 08:47 am by Josh
I went to New York last night, spur of the moment. It was really nice to see my old home group from TVC. I found myself missing the city more than I thought I would. I was so happy to be back there for such a short period and the experience has taken my confusion and frustration and magnified them by about three million or so. I just don’t understand why it is that if I have spent so much time praying for direction, I still don’t have any. Call me insatiable, but if moving me back to CT to my current circumstances counts as direction, well then I need to have a little talk with God.
They were shooting a movie in Thompkins Square Park last night. Fred Durst was the director. No wonder why it didn’t look very good…
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07.24.06
Posted in Theology, Today, Random Thoughts at 13:00 pm by Josh
There was a time when I used to think that everything that happened to me was my fault. I’ve learned over the years that this is not exactly true. The Father sometimes has to let one of His children go through something tough while he works with another of His children. It’s the price we pay for interacting but it doesn’t mean that God wants either of his children to suffer. However, I do still have a significant Christian struggle which is this: I know that I am forgiven through Jesus. It’s just that, for some reason, my heart can’t fully accept that concept. The days of sulpher and brimstone are over, yet I find myself waiting for the lightening bolt at every thing I do wrong in the eyes of God. This is not good, first and foremost, because I am not living in the glory of God. We should rejoice in His salvation, not dwell on the things we’ve done wrong. That being said, I make another mistake of looking at my Christian friends who do live in God’s glory and I notice that they are considerably happier. However, I also have this sneaking suspicion that they have not sinned to the same extent that I have.
But it is no longer ‘eye for an eye’ and the number of times I’ve sinned is not being compared to the number of times someone else sinned. Jesus took the full burden of my sin, just as he did the full burden of everyone else’s sin. Why, then, do I still feel like I’m paying interest on mine? I feel like I am being punished for not being good enough in His eyes while, in the back of my mind, I know that’s not true. Still, I don’t think I fully believe it in my heart, though I desperately want to. How could I be forgiven, having strayed so far from God’s righteousness? Worse yet, how do I convince my heart that I have been? I do believe in Jesus. I do believe in God. I’m just having some trouble allowing myself to be forgiven.
When I moved back to CT, I was certain that God was leading me. I still think He was. But I no longer understand why. I’m not sure I ever really understood why. I saw the things I wanted and assumed God was finally providing them for me. I know now that is no longer the case. However, with no Christian friends, no home church, and no spiritual advisor save the good Lord Himself, I’m feeling just a bit more lonely than I had hoped.
Okay, maybe a lot more lonely…
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07.21.06
Posted in Today, Pictures, News, Weather, Funnies at 10:41 am by Josh
This is what one bear thinks about the European Heatwave:
=)
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07.20.06
Posted in Theology, Political Commentary, Unsolicited Opinions, News at 13:43 pm by Josh
The time has come for my two cents about Hezbollah and Israel.
Really, I don’t have much to say. They are both being a little overly aggressive though I appreciate Israel’s “We’re not gonna take your crap” stance a lot more than the US’s rather passive, “Stop it because we really mean it this time” attitude towards terrorist organizations. But even more importantly, let’s look at the odds here: Israel has been kicking @$$ and taking names since Joshua, roughly the middle of the 26th Century B.C. One of the biggest reasons I can see as to why Israel is still in ruin today is because when you make them mad, they blow up everything they see. Whenever Israel was pleasing in God’s eyes He was like, “Go to this land and lay them to waste and you can have all their stuff” and they did. And while God may no long be partial to Israel, or to massive warfare apathetic to the well-being of women and children, we should always keep in mind that Israel has a tradition of warfare that is, among other things, quite destructive. Sitting back and saying, “It isn’t fair” is not going to help.
Here’s a brilliant idea: Why doesn’t Hezbollah just release the two soldiers this fighting is all about? I’ll tell you one thing: It doesn’t look like begging Israel to spare Lebanon is going to help. As of this moment in time, they have destroyed about half of Hezbollah’s forces which have plagued Israel for some years. In truth, you should never give in to bullies. However, this may not be a fight worth finishing for Hezbollah and Lebanon might want to seriously consider whose side they’re on.
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Posted in Today, Random Thoughts, Food at 08:49 am by Josh
Someone made me a peach crisp last night and it’s keeping me rather happy =)
In other news, I’d like a new job (does this sound familiar?). Every day, I notice how much more of my energy is drained by spending 9 hours of my time doing something that isn’t even remotely fulfilling. I’ve tried to find ways to make it fulfilling; maybe I’m not trying hard enough? Not entirely sure what else to do. I was struck with the fear the other day that I might actually have to settle on this employment for a somewhat extensive period of time. Not a good thing at all. Besides being unfulfilling, I think the world is going to get awfully skeptical about my “year-at-a-time” employment on my resume…
If you pray, ask Him for a little direction in this for me. I’ll give you a cookie =) (but no peach crisp…that’s all mine!!!! =P)
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07.19.06
Posted in Unsolicited Opinions, News at 16:53 pm by Josh
I was just reading about a now-famous blogger who is suing her former company because they terminated her. The author, and the media, are seemingly portraying this as a case of invaded privacy. However, even the media discloses the necessary details to qualify it as something totally legitimate.
For example: No, you cannot fire an employee for keeping a blog any more than you can fire someone for keeping a journal. However, if that journal were found to be housing the contents of an insulting nature towards your employer, regardless of whether or not they constitute slander, you likely would not be employed much longer. I fail to see how it is any different from simply telling your boss what you really think about him or her.
We all have had bosses and jobs we don’t much care for. I once even referred to a boss of mine as “The Antichrist” and compared her to Adolf Hitler, suggesting she could make him look mean. Those are obviously not nice things to say (to say the least!). But one thing you will notice: Though I update my blog sometimes three times a day, I never said it about her on here. Some lines you just don’t cross and if you do, be prepared for the consequences.
By the way, I apologize to all who were offended by the Antichrist and Hitler thing. However, I don’t take those comments back.
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Posted in Random Thoughts at 13:27 pm by Josh
I think that we need to have a discussion with The Powers That Be in Capitalism. I’m going to Block Island on Saturday which is only two hours from New Haven, plus 40 minutes or so on a ferry. Now this is an island; it has little more to do than sight see and go swimming. However, when you total a 94 mile drive at $3.19/gal and roughly 35 mi/gal (this comes out to about $20 for a two-way trip) plus $16.05 round-trip for the Slow Boat and an additional $85 to moped the island all day, plus $40 minimum for dinner (that’s NOT including alcohol), and $15 or $20 for lunch, we’re talking being slapped with a $200 bill for the day.
And you thought Manhattan was expensive =P
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07.17.06
Posted in Movies, Music, Technology at 11:26 am by Josh
I climbed up Sleeping Giant on Saturday for the first time since 2003. It was a much nicer view this time and the weather was better. We just barely beat the hot stuff for which I’m rather thankful. I’m not altogether sure I would have made it to the top had it been as hot as it was yesterday.
I also went to see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest yesterday. A fine movie, and I haven’t actually even seen the first one yet. The only real criticism I have is that I don’t think that the sword fight in the water-wheel should have carried on so long. It’s rather unbelievable to begin with but I’ll accept some stretches for Hollywood’s sake. This, however, was just a little too far. Funny, I’ll believe a story about pirates, ghosts, and a really big octopus but silly-looking sword fights irk me…=)
Lastly, I can’t seem to get my MobilePre to play nice with Adobe Audition. This makes me feel extraordinarily incompetant because the MobilePre is really idiot-proof. The sound feeds through the computer so the problem isn’t entirely the preamp. However, the signal doesn’t seem to be channeled properly through the preamp which may account for why Adobe isn’t getting it…any comments would be much appreciated.
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