09.26.08
Posted in Culture, Life, Quotes at 09:25 am by Josh
“There is one bit of advice given to us by the ancient heathen Greeks, and by the Jews in the Old Testament, and by the great Christian teachers of the Middle Ages, which the modern economic system has completely disobeyed. All these people told us not to lend money at interest: and lending money at interest – what we now call investment – is the basis of our whole system. Now it may not absolutely follow that we are wrong…. This is where we want the Christian economist.”
– C.S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity”
I’m just sayin’.
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09.20.08
Posted in Life, Quotes at 00:55 am by Josh
Everything reminds me of her
This evening
~Elliot Smith
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09.15.08
Posted in Insomnia, Life at 04:24 am by Josh
Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be - or so it feels - welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.
~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
I won’t pretend to know anything of grief. I’ve lost loved ones before, but thank God never one so close as a parent, lover, child, or even best friend. My most painful losses have come about without death, and I’ve said before that death would have made things easier as it is an absolute; there is no which way about it, and there is nothing I can do to make things any different. I’ve said such things foolishly, though I hope forgivably.
I have been awake for the last few hours, once again in a grief different from that which death brings. It is fitting that I should be here; I’ve been on what many modern Christians refer to as a “spiritual mountain” for the last month or so. I never expected that I wouldn’t be tested. I’d only hoped to have a bit more of the joy happiness brings before setting to work. The good news is that so far, I think I’ve passed the test. What I had hoped to avoid, though, was the sadness to follow. It makes the test longer. Perhaps it is the test. If so, then I digress. I have passed nothing. The bell has not yet rung. I have not yet put down my pencil. The exam is not over.
The most difficult part is not a fear of losing faith, but rather a fear of making God into a monster He is not. Grief is not part of a reward/punishment system. There are those whose lives are full of nearly nothing but grief, though they may be much better Christians than myself. And of course, and more glaringly, there are those whose lives are so full of joy that it spills into everything they touch either as awe or jealousy, and yet these folks have never so much as breathed a word to God. Blessings are not rewards. Hardships are not punishments. Both things are simply life. The choice we have is how we receive them.
Throughout my life, I have known more melancholy that I would like. I have no rational reason to believe that I should ever know anything different. But sitting here wondering about it won’t do me a lick of good, and stands a healthy chance of making things worse. Maybe my life will consist of nothing but doors slammed shut and bolted from the inside? But again, that is foolishness. God may often shut doors and bolt them up, but He does not stay on the other side. Perhaps He comes round from the back, leaving me in darkness for a few minutes while He gets his keys straight and makes sure the lights are out in the house. After all, it isn’t all about me.
It is now twenty minutes past four, and I think I’ve finally cried my last. In truth, I think the worst part about grief is the initial, necessary indulgence of sorrow which travels through the body like a steady electric current, bringing a mixture of laughter, tears, convulsions, exhaustion, desire, and hopelessness. Thinking of those things, I am quite disgusted with myself.
Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.
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09.04.08
Posted in Rants, Political Commentary at 15:08 pm by Josh
This promises to be a very long political season.
First, let me say that I have not declared my support for any candidate yet. I have only announced who I do not support and for those of you simpletons who think that means I must automatically vote for McCain/Palin, think again. Need I remind my faithful readers that four years ago, I voted for no one on the principle that there was not a suitable candidate for president? I’m not here to choose the lesser of two evils, and the American people should not be so misled based simply on the wonderful blessing of the freedom to vote. Look, I’m free to sleep around with half of New York City. It’s not illegal, I’m old enough to be responsible about it, etc. It still does not make it right. Just because you have power doesn’t mean you have to use it, or that you should.
Second, I’m vastly disappointed that this election looks to be headed down the same path most elections have over the last twenty years, which is to attack the people and not the policies. It takes my confidence away from any candidate when they cannot look to one another and say, “So-and-so would not be a good president because So-and-so wants to pull everyone out of Iraq right away, leaving a small force to maintain insurgencies until sometime in 2010. It would make more sense to leave the full force there, pulling out bit by bit, since I believe a small force will get its tail kicked in without proper backup.” There. You’ve won my presidential vote. But when you say, “So-and-so has no experience and so-and-so was mean to the Democratic party,” it sounds like a six-year-old deciding to pack up his ball and go home because he didn’t get his way on the playground.
Third: Calling all Americans! Stop being ignorant societal drones! Just because it sounds good in a speech, doesn’t mean that it’s true! Consider the likelihood that something can be done. Consider the humility with which it is proposed. Consider the fact that our country is slowly turning into something we never wanted (and still don’t want) it to be and continued support of any presidency which promotes scathing insults towards fellow politicians in the interest of a better country will never bring us back to true freedom and democracy. Stop funding the campaigns. Stop choosing the one who sounds a bit more reasonable. My Fellow Americans, we need an All-Star and we don’t have one yet, so far as I can tell. If we want to salvage what’s left of Our Great Nation, we need to work together, not tell one party that it’s ugly and the other that is smells. Let’s all grow up.
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09.03.08
Posted in Rants, Political Commentary at 17:18 pm by Josh
I’m not going to post a news link because I doubt there’s an American out there who hasn’t heard that the 17-year-old daughter of the Republican VP nominee is pregnant. I am, however, going to address this because I’m kind of appalled.
Now it doesn’t surprise me in the least that the media is doing its very best to exploit the mistake of Palin’s daughter. After all, 230 years in the making we Americans like to present that clean-cut, country feel that once made everyone like us so much. I don’t agree with it, but in the name of the sport of presidential candidacy, I see why they’ve taken this angle. The easily-fooled American people think they are tired of a Republican administration. Nevermind that everyone — Republicans included — is sick of one particular Republican administration. In the land of the free and home of the stereotyping, let’s go ahead and lump them all into one group. I mean, it’s not really discrimination if all of the players involved are white, rich and conservative. And it is most certainly the media’s job to fuel the propoganda started by the loudest-mouthed, most ignorant members of Our Great Nation in the first place. I’m not speaking out against any of this in the current post. That’s all for another argument and another day.
What I’m here to address is the shameless way the media — and the American people — suddenly pretends that the morals of our country are so pure and wholesome and Christian when all they’ve been feeding us for years in the news, in the movies, on TV sitcoms, in print publications, etc. is that free sex is okay for the masses and if you’re not having free sex, you’re old-fashioned, a prude, or just plain old missing out. If I am to gather my understanding of life from the media, then I would have to say that free, premarital sex is perfectly okay, but if a pregnancy results from it, suddenly there is a major moral issue and a problem with the people involved. Did everyone miss that the two things are quite related? That without man-made contraceptives, pregnancy is often the natural result — indeed, even the main purpose — of sex? And where do The Daily News and The New York Post get away with publicising the “unmarried” part on their front pages? When did this country (and city for that matter) — I believe with the highest divorce rate in the world and a rapidly declining married population — care one lick about sacred union between two people? And why, why, does everyone act so shocked that a pretty seventeen-year-old girl is pregnant? Yes, very odd that a young woman and a young man slept together out of wedlock. Certainly not something endorsed by pop culture (Gossip Girl?).
If you want to pick on someone, why don’t you pick on the liberal left-wing (sit down, I didn’t say “democrats”) that promotes promiscuous sex in the freedom of youth? I’m not suggesting people aren’t responsible for their own actions; we are. Completely and one-hundred percent, we make the choices that dictate our futures. But even the smartest, most independant human being is influenced by the world around him or her. If we weren’t, I’m not sure that sin would still reside in the hearts of everyone. We behave based on what we know and what we know is based on what we see, who we talk to, and, whether you like it or not, what everyone else is doing. What Sarah Palin’s daughter did is no different from what so many — and I’m sorry to say, myself included — people do in high school, college, and beyond. Perhaps unfortunately, she now must suffer a repercussion, and I have the greatest respect for her family supporting her in her decision to keep the baby, and especially for their reasons for pledging their support. What I have no respect for is society’s way of exploiting a young woman who is no more or less prone to giving in to temptations of the flesh simply to try to make hypocrites out of the GOP. How about we get back to politics and stop dwelling on the mistakes of a teenager? Last I checked, she isn’t the one looking to help lead this country out of the hole it’s sunk itself into.
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